@ShoutingGoddess: Psst. Don't refer to them as voices in your head. Do as the professionals and call them your 'team of writers'.
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@LackOfShame: [their last appetizer] Her: I don't want it. You have it. Him: I don't want it either, you... Me: *reaches onto their table and takes it
@IdStandOnThat: My daughter just said, "Daddy, you're good looking & not fat like other dads." She's only 10, but we're headed to the BMW dealership now.
@maxlavergne: your honor, i nominate the real murderer for the ice bucket challenge!! [a guy stands up] nice