@Thynebear: Psychopaths make up about 1% of the US population. Exposing them is easy, just text your friends & check who has their read receipts on.
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@rebrafsim: [thrift store] Me: I'd like one thrift, please Cashier: sir, we sell used- Me: money is no object C: we don't- M: I need a thrift
@murrman5: [showing date a picture] that's me and my brother at summer camp [showing a pic of me holding a big fish] and that's us after his accident
@oakhillbargrill: Wife: Did you pay the mortgage yet? Me: Do you think surfers in India are called Hindudes? Wife: What? Me: What? Communication is hard