@mstern68: Public bathrooms are why parkour was invented.
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@Tmoney68: I've GOT to get a life stenographer. It'd be great to say, "Betty, read back last night so I can see why I put a skillet on my nightstand."
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I love Instagram's new direct messaging feature because I've always thought, "If only this picture of someone's dinner was just for me."
@ElizaBayne: "Move miss, please get out of the way. Please get out of the way, miss. Please get out of the way."- Ludacris's cousin, Kurteous
@SuperJuanderer: When life gives you lemons, you should peel one in front of the other lemons. You know... to send a message.