@mstern68: Public bathrooms are why parkour was invented.
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@rolldiggity: "And if you look out to the left, you'll miss everything to the right. Remember, every choice is also a loss." - Me as a tour guide
@IamEnidColeslaw: today I went for a run & a homeless guy was like WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING FROM & I was like EVERYTHING
@rockymomax: CLERK: $3.74 ME: *reaches in pocket & pulls out whole ham* sorry I have cash *reaches back in & pulls out 2nd ham* well this is embarrassing
@ibid78: "You thinkin what I'm thinkin?" "That we should dance our way out of this street fight?" "Wait what?" "No time! Break on 8! And a 5 6 7 8."