@dysalexia: Pulled out all of my eyelashes so I can make more wishes. 1st wish: MONEY! 2nd wish: FRIENDS! 3rd wish: eyelashes :(
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@bourgeoisalien: My favorite German children's story is that one where some unspeakably terrifying thing happens to teach a minor lesson.
@olerunkbitch: I had no idea we were millionaires until I just saw my husband casually rip off 3 or 4 paper towels at once.
@GhostPanther: Amazing how easily that guy scaled Trump Tower. Thank God u can't get suction cups in Mexico cause then wall idea would be really stupid.