@OhNoSheTwitnt: Purchased an hourglass for my desk at work to flip when people stop by to make them uncomfortable.
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@Scdavis24: If god came down to earth, he'd have to take the form of Morgan Freeman. At this point, anything less would be disappointing.
@Swishergirl24: The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
@iwearaonesie: Anytime someone loses something in the office HR doesn't ask if anyone's seen it, they just send out an email that says "Give it back Josh"
@lorigonzalez28: If you love someone, poison them a little bit each day. If they don't suspect you at all, they might be the ONE.