@OhNoSheTwitnt: Purchased an hourglass for my desk at work to flip when people stop by to make them uncomfortable.
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@ariscott: [Day after Xmas] 7am: I am detoxing today, only fruit and liquids for me 9am: There are worse things than eating 14 cookies for breakfast
@bourgeoisalien: #TT At 14 I yelled, "You'll NEVER understand Morrissey,dad!!" and tried to run dramatically out of the room but ran into a wall & fell over.
@MedikalMiracle: "Hey, long time. Wassup?" should be auto-corrected to "Dude. Can you do me a favor?"