@SomeChrisTweets: Purchased the e-book version of Infinite Jest like an idiot and had to make do.
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@ThisOneSayz: Parenting doesn't prepare you for the awkward glances you get when a naked Ken doll falls out of your briefcase.
@BoozieEyedJoe: My favorite deleted scene from Lord of the Rings is when Bilbo & Frodo discover they have a long lost hipster cousin called Douche Baggins.
@Mike_Wrong: Every time I wear a suit I hear the same five words. "Will the defendants please rise"
@Dustinkcouch: If I had a million dollars for every time I looked at the negative side of things, I'd have way too many god damn taxes to pay.