@david_tull: *purposely chooses network with most dropped calls*
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@KalvinMacleod: INTERVIEWER: what’s your greatest strength? ME: I’m good at untying knots INTERVIEWER: oh thank god can u get these running shoes off of me?
@PrettyNBoots: Deactivated my FB. Before the final "submit", they show you pictures of "friends" that says "These people will miss you". Best laugh ever.
@KeetPotato: [at interview] "ok 1st question you're on a submarine you find a dog, what do you call him" umm "..." subwoofer? "welcome to the navy seals"
@hammbone84: MY ROOMBA IS SOMEHOW LOOSE OUTDOORS AND I'M TERRIFIED OF THE CONSEQUENCES FOR THE ECOSYSTEM AS IT HAS NO NATURAL PREDATORS.