@david_tull: *purposely chooses network with most dropped calls*
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@StayNobody: What can I get you to drink? "Pepsi" Is Peps- Uh one moment please [In kitchen, to manager] I don't know, he just said Pepsi. What do I do?
@rickolantern: The human race won't go extinct when our blood turns into high fructose corn syrup Our demise will come when hummingbirds figure it out
@Bob_Janke: Paris Hilton is worried ISIS will target her because she's famous. Paris Hilton doesn't realize that ISIS didn't exist in 2004.