@Underchilde: Purse snatching is a great way to make some extra money while getting in some cardio.
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@StarWarsProblms: Vader: I'll teach you the Death Star's power Leia: By blowing up my planet? Vader: By showing you a PowerPoint presentation Leia: NOOO!!!
@davidschneider: I hope God rethinks his decision to allow an intern to run celebrity deaths in 2016.
@Bownuggets: Boss: OMFG man what happened to ur eye? [cut to me riding a horse into the garage door during medieval role play] "I ran into a door"
@QwertyJones3: Her: You don't have to cook me dinner, we can just go out. Me *tossing a jellyfish in the air like pizza dough* No it's fine I don't mind..