@fuzzlime: put a pic of a girl with perfect abs on my fridge so I'm motivated to suck in my gut every time I pull out the ice cream
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AristotlesNZ: Me: WHAT DO WE WANT?! Him: "Nothing. I'm good." WHEN DO WE WANT IT? "Seriously, knock it off." I GOT A NEW BULLHORN! "I can see that..
@abbycohenwl: Guy: How many puppies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Do you know yet? Me (in a sea of puppies): No, they haven't done it. Bring more
@Rollmaninoz: Diary June 28 1954 So it turns out my weakness is kryptonite. I can't tell anybody this. June 30 1954 I accidentally told Lex. Should be ok
@Gre_Gone: Judge: State your name. Me: Not Guilty Judge: What? Me: I had it legally changed. Judge: You're Not Guilty? Me: *moonwalks outta there*