@noog: Put on sunglasses. Now run past a crowd of people with your index finger on your ear screaming "SNIPER HAS BEEN SPOTTED SIR"
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@bazlyons: They say punching a shark is an effective way to prevent a shark attack but my preference would still be 'land'
@jwoodham: The year is 2087. Selfies are the new currency now and that annoying girl you went to high school with is the richest person in the world.
@Adar79Angie: When my family says things like...why don't you have kids yet? I say "Because I didn't get drunk & do the football team, Sasha."