@noog: Put on sunglasses. Now run past a crowd of people with your index finger on your ear screaming "SNIPER HAS BEEN SPOTTED SIR"
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@SammySkinns: Recent studies show that eating bacon or other red meats increases your chances of dying by 20% So apparently I have a 120% chance of dying
@Lord_Voldemort7: Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriends should band together to create a compilation album entitled "Maybe it's not us, it's you..."