@noog: Put on sunglasses. Now run past a crowd of people with your index finger on your ear screaming "SNIPER HAS BEEN SPOTTED SIR"
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@ibid78: The year is 2072. Numbers have lost all meaning. It could be 3247 for all they know. "It's 5486," says one guy, but it could've been 8 guys.
@thatdutchperson: "And why did you join our gym?" ▫️to stay healthy ▫️a friend recommended it ☑️I've seen myself naked
@ramblinma: I'm not saying I want a divorce, it's just that sometimes 50% custody sounds pretty appealing.
@DomesticGoddss: Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I'm the proud owner of aisle 7.