@ieatanddrink: Put together a list of the PROS and CONS of pizza for those of you who are on the fence!
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@BlindChow: [aircraft carrier] *paints a T on the helipad* Captain: No it has to have an H Me: Why? *train sounds approaching* Captain: Oh dear god
@daemonic3: Top uses for Golf Balls: 1. Describing hail storms 2. Describing tumors 3. Playing golf
@Priscilla_YEAH: Being a parent means often saying your child is shy rather than "he sees how creepy u are, that's why he doesn't want to shake your hand".
@rad_milk: I dropped a piece of cheese on the airplane and i know it rolled forward and some piece of shit in first class is enjoying it now