@koalaslament: put ur hair in a man-bun. now put ur beard in a man-bun too. congratulations ur now a hamburger. be free, hamburger man.
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@TheBeerGuy73: Well, Clarice, have the lambs stopped screaming? ROFLMFAO! JK! Lolz Ttyl KK Ur BFF, Hannibal ~ Hannibal Lecter discovers text messages
@robdelaney: 9 out of 10 dentists agree: golf is a fantastic way to avoid raising your children.
@daryl_licked: My girlfriend's daughter was laying across my legs. Me: What am I a pillow now? Her: Yep, and pillows don't talk. I think we're bonding.