@koalaslament: put ur hair in a man-bun. now put ur beard in a man-bun too. congratulations ur now a hamburger. be free, hamburger man.
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@yoopnative: My 11 now wants to borrow clothes from my closet. Either she has great taste in clothing at an early age...or I dress like a tween.
@AshFrieds: There should be a horror movie where an item associated with childhood innocence is unexpectedly evil
@yonewt: Sometimes I get flustered by waitresses and I say things like "Abso-fruit-ly!" and they laugh like I'm so clever but we both know