@loribuckmajor: Putin takes over entire world while everybody searches for the missing plane.
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@pakalupapito: If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.
@thenatewolf: *I see a guy with a shark tooth necklace* ME: Holy shit, that's sharpest part of a shark. Who is this mysterious and brave hunk?
@ppppolls: 30% of Republican primary voters nationally say they support bombing Agrabah. Agrabah is the country from Aladdin. #NotTheOnion