@loribuckmajor: Putin takes over entire world while everybody searches for the missing plane.
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@JohnLyonTweets: "I knew he was the murderer when I saw him on the dance floor," Holmes said. "You see, Watson, guilty feet have got no rhythm."
@batkaren: Dinosaurs never could've survived til the present day. Could you imagine a stegosaurus in a Honda Civic? It'd be totally ridiculous in 2017.
@derpintine: 'So Timmy, how did you fall into that well?' 'Oh. I never fell in, I was p- *sees Lassie do cut throat motion* -was jumping in.'