@Tommytoughstuff: *Puts air guitar back in air case* "Listen if you wanted a "real guitarist" maybe you should put that in the ad!"
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@Sarcasticsapien: Coworker: You're so condescending and arrogant. Me: They mean the same thing so you didn't need to say both.
@FeelingMervis: Sometimes when my gf is asleep, I like to sneak into the living room, put on her dress, and pretend I wear the pants in this relationship.
@UduhEmeka: This is Bill Bill has a wife Bill isn't scared of his wife & says what he wants when he.. This is Bill's wife Bill is no longer available