@Howiesbookclub: Puts an "I love Daddy" shirt on my kids until they're old enough to read.
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@EJGomez: dating tip #4: when meeting her brother for the 1st time make sure when he goes for the handshake u kiss him on the lips to assert dominance
@WilliamAder: "Down" "Penetration" "Tight End" "Ball handling" Don't the networks have censors any more?
@notacroc: [restaurant] ME: *reading menu* how's the chicken parm? OUR WAITER, TONY THE TIGER: it's grr- MANAGER: *glares at Tony* TONY: it's exquisite