@prufrockluvsong: Summer is the perfect time to collect shells on the beach. The 20 gauge ones are especially pretty, although you can't beat a good 45 mm.

@Mom_Overboard: Her: omg are you crying over puppy videos? Him: dammit woman, I'm the Headless Horseman, not the Heartless Horseman

@jake_likes_naps: DATING TIP: PULL THE CHAIR OUT FOR HER. PICK THE CHAIR UP & FOLD IT. HIT HER OVER THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR. GET THE 3 COUNT. NEW WWE CHAMPION

@fro_vo: if you like christmas so much why don't you merry it

@Fred_Delicious: Megaman is such a hard game! I've beaten Ice Man & Fire man but this guy just shoots me before I can even move. How do I beat Zimmer Man?