@bransonbranson: *puts on satin, full length pajamas for men, slips into bed* yes... time to text some girls the word 'hey' and only the word 'hey'
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@mamatomy3: Me: There is a small tree on fire. 911: Could you describe it? Me:Picture shrubbery...now picture it engulfed in flames.
@THEDUTHCHESS: My ex husbands Voicemail was a trick one where he'd say "Hello Hello, so you think he'd answered and that's why he's dead.
@crayan9: I don't mind when people make kitchen jokes about women, but when they make jokes about women driving... Well that's when I run you over