@bransonbranson: *puts on satin, full length pajamas for men, slips into bed* yes... time to text some girls the word 'hey' and only the word 'hey'
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Inferno_V: A grown man smelling like baby powder stood next to me today. My maternal instincts have never been so confused.
@thelaurenobrien: How many times did people question the honesty of Shakira's hips before she finally decided to defend them in a song?
@KentTheG: When co-workers ask if the photos on my desk are my kids, I like to say, "No, they're Dan's from accounting. But they're so cute!"