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@juneohara65: *puts on strapless bra
*takes an extra Prozac
@DurtMcHurtt: People think I'm kissing an imaginary girl when I play air tuba.
@lecalabara: Every chair is a reclining chair when you're drunk.
@AbbyHasIssues: I think I just invented four new yoga poses trying to get a chocolate chip that I dropped under the table.
@jonnysun: *stares at phone*
why cant i sleep
*puts phone face-up on bed, the screen brigtness bathes my room in a light mor powerfubl than the sun*
"Describe yourself in 5 words."
me: Salacious. Professionally sensual. HR compliant.