@so_amused: 'Your legs, your thighs, they got me hypnotized' ~me talking to my KFC

@JoshuaHvr: Why would a straight guy hate gay guys? Here's a group of men who look better than you.. but don't even want women. You should be glad.

@iamk1ts: All I said was, Even those starving kids in Africa wouldn't eat your cooking and my wifes foot became Mayor of my ass on Foursquare.

@StevieKnip: Girls like guys who take charge: ask her out, plan a date, take a hostage, overthrow a government, nuke her ex's hometown, buy her a puppy

@One_FineMess: Black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Jewish... It doesn't matter. It's all good. But a Pepsi drinker...