@JessObsess: I used to feel sorry for people eating lunch by themselves but now I feel sorry for the people eating lunch with other people.

@bonehugsnirony: [my day at work] 9:00am: so much to do, blessed! 9:05am: ok I'm bored 9:06am: *googles am I too goth for work?*

@rockymomax: EXECUTIVE: this ones not about murder is it STEPHEN KING: its about children E: ok SK: in corn E: thats nice SK:who murder E: dammit Stephen

@IamEnidColeslaw: I've matured a lot. For example, I used to listen to Fall Out Boy and break stuff, but now I listen to Mozart and break stuff

@Muath_tu: Lil Wayne is like if a doctor's handwriting came to life.