@RealCarrotFacts: Putting a carrot next to you in bed can almost fill the space where Megan used to slep
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@RandomManik: Fool me Once - Shame on You. Fool me Twice- Shame on Me. Fool me Thrice- What are you, a Nigerian Scamster?
@squirrel74wkgn: [at work] Carl, did you get naked when you used the bathroom? *standing there with his shirt & pants on backwards* "No...why do you ask?"
@BradBroaddus: Make sure your blind date from the internet has a big car. Nothing worse than a trunk with no leg room.