@WilliamAder: Putting my Christmas decorations on the house across the street so I can, you know, see them.
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@suzieQ0007: Did you know Lysol kills 99.9% of germs & my toothpaste has tartar control? You would too if you sat in my bathroom without your phone.
@batkaren: I stand at airplane arrival gates with a "SAMANTHA" sign, then cry after everyone's exited until airport security brings me soup. Free soup!
@dulcetry: This Walmart is advertising $9.99 iPads to anyone who throws their baby into a snakepit.