@WilliamAder: Putting my Christmas decorations on the house across the street so I can, you know, see them.
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@iwearaonesie: *wakes up to wife and son screaming* me: What are you guys yelling about? them: YOU'RE DRIVING
@girl_a_whirl: Son: Mom Son: Mom Son: Mom Son: Mom OUIJA BOARD: F F S W H A T ??? Son: Have you seen my other shoe?