@Paul_Eaton1: Putting on a clean pair of underwear everyday is a great way to have seven pair on by the end of the week.
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@SomthinBoutSara: Ever listened to 90s R&B lyrics? Sex you up? Licky boom-boom down? No wonder none of us know what the hell were doing in relationships
@krisv_723: *At hospital visiting a patient. Pulls emergency cord in bathroom* Nurse: What's the emergency ma'am? Me: This toilet paper is on backwards.
@HomeProbably: It doesn't matter how hard I try, I just don't seem to be going anywhere in life Hamster therapist: Sounds like you're in a vicious circle