@gneicco: Q. Where did Capt. Hook buy his prosthesis?
A. At a secondhand store.
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@leechee420: I saw my friend's kids at Walmart and they told me they were lost and I was like "good luck guys" and walked away. I'd be a great mother.
@TheHyyyype: Hard to believe the Cubs last won the World Series 108 years ago. Most of them don't look a day over 30.
@QwertyJones3: Um, doctor? This degree on your wall is from Whatsamatta U. I don't think that's a... Doctor: *looking at x-rays* MY GOD! YOU HAVE NO SKIN!
@pplwtching: If someone says, "right about now" and you don't respond with "the funk soul brother" we can't be friends.
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