@neiltyson: QUESTION: What were the very first straws made of? ANSWER: Straw.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@imadepoopstoday: [job interview] "We feel that you just aren't quite mature enough for the position." It's the Velcro shoes, isn't it. "...yes."
@AnOrangeSNES: *Walking with wife listening to Dust In The Wind* Me: This is our song. *A dude walks by listening to it* Me: That's OUR song! GIVE IT BACK!
@meganamram: Sometimes I sit on my hand till it's numb so it feels like someone else is googling my name
@rolldiggity: It's going to be so disappointing if we ask aliens about crop circles and they're just like, "We hate corn."