@Ideal_Victoria: Quick! Does anyone know how I can get red wine off of my date’s white cat?!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Brampersandon_: [stand-up comic bombing] Comic: I guess I can tell you my joke about ghosts Audience: BOOOOOO! Comic: Oh ok you've heard that one before.
@KrangTNelson: PARENTS: when we were ur age we bought a house for $10,000 ME: oh yeah? well did u have.. THIS?! *gestures to 114 gross Oreo flavors*
@PresTightrhymes: *showing friend my new place* Me:(sitting)And this is my mocking chair. Him:Don't you mean rocking chair? Me:DoN't YoU mEaN rOcKiNg ChAiR?