@JennyJohnsonHi5: Quick! Everyone on Facebook is at church! Let's go steal all their shit!
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@weinerdog4life: The cops say I have to stop trying to fist fight the guy who tries to feed my house letters everyday.
@Ideal_Victoria: Just once, I want someone to look at me and say, “That’s her. She’s the one” And not follow it with “who ate cake out of the garbage”