@Ristolable: quick poll: why'd you break up with me in high school Alison
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@novicefather: A breakfast buffet at my funeral so people will be happy. But with soy bacon and chia seed pancakes so they know it's a time to grieve.
@kelkulus: For Earth Day, turn on your air conditioner and open your doors and windows. If we all work together, we can totally cool this planet.
@mattyglesias: Say what you will about Fidel Castro, at least he didn't use a private email server.