@Ristolable: quick poll: why'd you break up with me in high school Alison
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@bammersacat: This holiday season, tell your kids the smoke detector is Santa’s camera and watch them clean their rooms like army cadets.
@jwoodham: DIET TIP: You are what you eat. Do you really want to be celery? C'mon. Not even celery wants to be celery.
@GlumGeorgeLucas: "The Force Awakens" had 0 people riding giant CGI lizards. How is that even science fiction? They might as well rename it "Downton Abbey."