@LoveNLunchmeat: Quick question: How many bowls of mac and cheese can you eat during a Skype job interview before you look unprofessional?
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@QwertyJones3: Let's name him something that will make children smile "How about Santa?" Ok but let's add something fierce so they are afraid to defy him
@NotARatsAss: My father could have the original copy of the Declaration of Independence on the counter, and still make a meatball sandwich over top of it.
@SweetTweetsBRO: I love when I'm walking closely behind a girl and she starts to speed walk away. It's like she knew I wanted to race all along.