@Snarfernini: Quick! What's protocol for when he opens my car door for me and just shy of 7,000 Sonic straw wrappers fall out?
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@KateWhineHall: Playing mini-golf with your family is a fun way to spend thirty-two dollars to watch your kid throw 18 tantrums in a row.
@InkedUpKidder: Saturday in my 20's: "Nice, this club is hot! gimme a Vodka tonic!" Tonight: "Nice, grocery store is empty, ooh I got coupon for that !!"
@TheTweetOfGod: Time is money. Money talks. So time talks. But talk is cheap. So time is cheap. But time is money. So money is cheap. Which it's not.
@CroweJam: I wear a cape when I'm driving so if I get pulled over the cop will think I'm going somewhere to fight crime.