@Snarfernini: Quick! What's protocol for when he opens my car door for me and just shy of 7,000 Sonic straw wrappers fall out?
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@jonnysun: imagime if introverts were as aggresive to extroverts as extroverts r to introverts "why do u hav to socialize" "why dont u stay in" "loser"
@jimmy_sharpe: Something just came up on my computer asking if I trusted it, and now we're running away to start a new life together.
@LoveNLunchmeat: [watching basketball] I bet these guys all have really big *husband stares at me* feet. And that's how you get him to turn off the game.
@nealbrennan: I hope the bomber suspect is made of green screen so we can all project our most feared skin color onto him.