@ReginaldDennys: Quickest way to get over someone? 4 wheel drive
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@MondayPajamas: Girl, you don't even know how crazy I am about you.... I'm thinking about digging my mom up so she can meet you.
@funnweaver: My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it’s there to stab potential taco thieves.
@Parkerlawyer: So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today.