@ReginaldDennys: Quickest way to get over someone? 4 wheel drive
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@TheTobbie: My mind: "Today was a productive day." My body: "Please don't drink 11 cups of coffee again."...
@thepunningman: Boss: Isn't your new job kind of a [stifling laughter] sideways move? Crab: [to HR person] see this is what I'm talking about