@ReginaldDennys: Quickest way to get over someone? 4 wheel drive
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@man_spach: "I'm sorry I could never do that for you," said the cat sulking away after catching me on the internet looking at pics of cats in space.
@SortaBad: Me: goodnight moon Moon: It's 6pm Me: I know but I'm tired Moon: I literally just got here
@SirEviscerate: *sees melted chocolate swirling in tv ad* ooooh yeah *raisins fall into the chocolate in slo mo* nooooo *punches hole in wall*