@jwoodham: Quidditch is my kind of sport. You don't have to run, you get to sit the whole time, and if things aren't going well you can just fly home.
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@Ivsy01: People used to have to hunt for food now its like omg two people are in line ahead of me at Starbucks.
@themorris23: If Jesus came back today, hipsters would be like "whatever Jesus, the book was better."
@SortaBad: *panics during bank robbery* "Uhhhh hi yeah I'd like to put this gun in my safety deposit box"
@SortaBad: [Trump speaking at rally] I love this country. I love America. I love singing the *looks at smudged writing on hand* Strawbangled Panther