@DirtMcTurd: *quietly tries to open bag of chips while fiancé is reading her wedding vows*
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@Manda_like_wine: I'm only listening outside the bathroom door to make sure you're not touching the decorative hand towels.
@ElizaBayne: Name brands really are better. For instance, I just found out that the Tide pen works much better on stains than regular pens
@AimeeHelene1: Me: You won't believe the dream I had last night! I slapped you in the face with a hot pizza. Him: M: *looks down* *sees pepperoni all over*