@lloydrang: "Quinoa" sounds like something a ninja would say before kicking you.
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@ComedicBust: I was excited when my GF asked me to dress up as the cable guy, until I spent the next 3 hours on the roof, trying to fix the satellite dish
@KenJennings: Okay, vampires are invisible in mirrors, I totally get that. But, come on, their clothes?!? #science
@LoveNLunchmeat: I've been Catholic for years and still have no idea which murders I should confess and which I should keep to myself.
@sandjoeman: I love when people tell me they'll "see me in hell" as if I'm not gonna weasel my way out of those plans too.