@Home_Halfway: Raccoons wearing tiny little glasses, digging through trash and carefully reading nutritional information of any food items they find.
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@blaudiablogan: Guy asked me where I got my green eyes. Great! Now I have to explain what the Vikings did when they got to Sicily.
@PaperWash: Your honor let the records indicate my client was upsexy Judge: what's upsexy? [lawyer whispers to defendant] quick, this is your chance
@dumbbeezie: When you say you don't feel good "Are you pregnant?" -people without kids "Do you have to poop?" -people with kids