@TheCatWhisprer: Rachel Ray now makes cat food with real beef just like the cows my cat would eat in the wild.
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@abhorrent_wife: I won't believe Johnny Depp is engaged until I've seen he's put a ring, 90 bracelets, 7 scarves, a fedora and an ugly pair of glasses on it.
@AndrewNadeau0: ME: So, where are the Hobbits? GUIDE: Again, that's Middle Earth. This is Central America. ME: Ooh, right. *Whispers in fear* Orc territory.
@kyry5: Me: *popping out of a giant cake, screaming* "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUT ME IN THERE AFTER YOU BAKED IT"
@Crutnacker: Biden: I took a Staples red button & wrote "Nukes" on it Obama: Joe! Biden: Tweets to him in Russian when pressed