@patrickmarkryan: Radio Shack would have filed for bankruptcy years ago but they've been trying to do it using dial-up internet
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@SirEviscerate: Me: I'm having a problem with my computer: IT guy: Have you tried punching it? Me: That's the first thing I tried. I'm not an idiot.
@LaurenRP: I went outside without makeup on. A child cried and I think a bird flew into a window on purpose.
@dxblarssonENG: Teenage daughter called me an old fart. We both laughed and then I changed the password to our wifi.