@patrickmarkryan: Radio Shack would have filed for bankruptcy years ago but they've been trying to do it using dial-up internet
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@zombieparrot: Driving and trying to read twitter, I just ran over a poodle. Unfortunately I drive a Yaris. My car got a dent and the poodle got annoyed.
@bencoffeehall: My dentist asked me if I had a problem with my gums bleeding. You'd have to be really laid back to not have a problem with that.
@zachreinert03: Fear is not the same is respect. For instance I fear bears but integrity wise they are huge pieces of shit