@RowdyBowden: Raggedy Andy knew he was becoming a man when he noticed yarn where there wasn't yarn before.
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@Chumpstring: ME: I lied in my interview. BOSS: what was the lie? ME: all lies. except about my aunt. BOSS: she wants to party with me? ME: big time.
@AristotlesNZ: Wife: Maybe its time for "the talk" Me: Ok. Son, cops can't bust you for the drugs you've done, just the drugs you have. Her: Not that talk!
@Black__Elvis: I once had a brush with Death and then a floss and a rinse; no woman wants to get intimate with a dark annihilator of souls with bad teeth.