@OuterJohn: Raise your arms and run through the police crime scene tape like you're finishing a marathon.
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@chewlongkok_: [On phone to police] Has there been a report of a pervert in the park? P: No, there hasn't. Me: oh good. [Goes back to hiding in bushes]
@SarahFemme: If your mom still washes your underwear, you're not allowed to have an opinion about anything.
@daemonic3: "Dad, what caused the Great Fire of London?" [googles but can't get wifi] Well son, that's when Bach dropped the most fire mixtape of 1666