@101Racey: Ran a bath, checked Twitter, flooded Europe.
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@juliussharpe: Cologne - because people shouldn't have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.
@Brianhopecomedy: My 3 year old is helping me make crepes this morning. So far in the mixing bowl there are 2 eggs, 1 cup of flour and 1 measuring cup.
@Dawn_M_: *rolls over to your desk on chair* So what was in that browser you just quickly minimised?
@Tmoney68: A man played Justin Bieber to force an attacking bear to run off. He was treated for his injuries, then arrested for cruelty to animals.