@wickedsuga: Randomly play a recording of a candy bar wrapper being opened just to keep your kids on their toes.
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@Pro_Jones_: (NASA) HQ: Good launch everyone. Astronaut: Uhh what's that buzzing noise? NASA Prankster: Definitely rocket noise and not bees.
@brittwastaken: Soccer mom:Is that apple organic? Me:No idea. SM: I hope you know the pesticides they spray on those will kill you. Me:*slowly licks apple*
@ArfMeasures: [Inventing Squash] FRIEND: What are you doing? ME: I just [smashes ball] really hate this wall FRIEND: u know what [grabs racket] so do I
@Dawn_M_: My therapist doesn't believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.