@PetiteRainCity: Randomly print things to give your co-workers the impression you're working.
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@OohSnapItsChris: Girls love a mysterious man, shiny things and a good chase. Supposedly that doesn't mean put on a mask & run after her with a knife.
@Canadian_Cutie_: My voicemail greeting: Its 2016, please hang up and text me before the beep so I don't get a notification.
@decentbirthday: Just heard local reports of a stalker, which is funny because I watch everyone through their windows and none of them look suspicious