@AGreaterMonster: Rather than ever clean a window I just tell people they're frosted.
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@junejuly12: Maybe leave yourself in a hot car with a window open one inch for 15 minutes while your dog runs into the store
@DaddyJew: Boss:my office, now! Me:*to myself* dont be about Twitter dont be about Twitter B:we've had a sexual harassment complaint M:Oh thank God!
@MinionTrainer: Noticed lots of older people reading the bible. It's like they are cramming for their final exam.