@daemonic3: Rather than vote, let's all fill out the 29 dimensions of what we want in a president and let eHarmony decide.
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@KalvinMacleod: BLACK WIDOW: help I think my husband is dead 911: did u murder him? BLACK WIDOW: uh 911: ma'am BLACK WIDOW: *quietly hangs up the phone*
@UrbanDouchebag: I wonder if flies ever think, "I bet I could get this guy to slap himself in the face." Because they'd be right.
@MelvinofYork: The only way a "staycation" sounds good is if the rest of my family takes a "leavecation"