@TheTweetOfGod: Ray Rice. Michael Vick. And now Adrian Peterson. Congratulations, NFL. Your woman/children/animal abuse trifecta is officially complete.
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@SardonicTart: I don't go to the circus. Not because I'm scared of clowns, but because I'm scared of people who go to the circus.
@MatCro: [Starbucks Assassins Inc] CHIEF: Write this down. Target's name is John BARISTA: [writes] Jamie C: Ok. Memorise it B: [eyes shut] Janet
@IanKarmel: Arby's also has a secret menu. If you order a "phone book" they bring you a phone book and you can find any other place to eat.