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@DaddyJew: *reaches for the stars*
Stars: I have a boyfriend
@I_Bl33d_Purple: When I die, someone, please attend my funeral dressed as the Grim Reaper and just stand there and don't say a word. Thanks.
@omgthatspunny: the english language
@david8hughes: [first date]
Me: that is hilarious
Me: wait, bread or dead?
Date: how would my parents be bread?
@baeblacksheep: ONLY text me in an emergency. Like my car's shooting flames from the trunk, one of my exes dies eventfully, or if someone thinks I'm sexy.
@idigcrazychics: Easiest way to break into a moble home in a trailer park is to use a can opener.