@zachreinert03: Read about a 60 yr old woman wanting to swim from Florida to Cuba & felt inspired & wanted to help so I emailed her a picture of a boat
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@DaddyJew: Apparently when your boss asks if you're on drugs "which drugs?" isn't the appropriate response. I know this now.
@P1ssed_K1d: You know what a cubicle basically says? It says 'We don't think you're smart enough for an office,but we don't want you to look at anybody.'
@Phillylawyer7: Dirty Dancing is my favorite movie about a girl who cannot dance at all, but wins a dance competition because her partner has a great mullet
@WilliamRodgers: The baby spit up on my Xbox so I had to get rid of it... I'm gonna miss that baby...