@PaperWash: Read an article that said Google is making us dumber. whatever, I've always used Google and I'm super [googles synonym for smart] able.
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@GrrrRach: Operator: 999, emergency services. Which service do you require? Me: Oh! Don't mind me, I was just cleaning cake off the touch screen.
@animaldrumss: me: How many calls do I get? cop: one me: What do you think is more likely? a lawyer delivering pizza or a dominos providing legal counsel?
@Tommytoughstuff: IMPROV PERFORMER: I need a suggestion. PERSON (from the back) BE MORE LIKE YOUR BROTHER! IP: Okay, someone that's not my wife.