@AaronFullerton: Reading about how much Daniel Craig hates Bond is like The Pope Visiting Kim Davis all over again.
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@mattytalks: A very busty woman whispers to me "I want you to tell me if these look real" my eyes widen, then she takes out pictures of the moon landing
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Babies are like tattoos. They're yours forever and maybe wait a few days before posting pictures of them so they're not all gross looking.
@PS_IRuddYou: If the stick figure people started committing more crimes... I could be a legendary sketch artist for the FBI.
@Birdhumms: Forgive me father for I have sinned, it's been 25 yrs since my last confession, I sure hope you're seated comfortably.