@FoxCGrandpa: Reading my shopping list and finding "a shit ton of oats" clearly in goat handwriting again
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@iAmDelFreaky: I was practicing moves on a stripper pole, when all of a sudden I heard a loud ringing. Then 3 firemen fell from the sky and crushed me.
@kevinrowe1: At my age, a new driver's license doesn't have an Expires On date. It has a Renew If You Haven't Expired On date.
@jonnysun: dave is coming over "normal dave or dave whos alwayes doing impressions of evrybody we know" [from outside] hi guyes, its normal dave "noooo
@daniel_shaw: If by cat person you mean I like to sleep all day and poo in sand then yes I am a cat person.