@FoxCGrandpa: Reading my shopping list and finding "a shit ton of oats" clearly in goat handwriting again
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@Scott_A_Gilmore: Oh look! A guy with "Stand-Up Comic" in his bio unfollowed me two seconds after I followed back. That's never happened before.
@LilBlueBlood: Every time I forget to feed my cat, I thank god that I wasn't a teen mom. Because that child would not be OK today.
@hellohappy_time: Can I be wracked with something other than guilt. Like. Can I be wracked with spaghetti.
@ericspeaksout: Instead of the death penalty they should make prisoners nice and comfortable and then tell them that the remote control is across the room.