@FoxCGrandpa: Reading my shopping list and finding "a shit ton of oats" clearly in goat handwriting again
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@somecleverthing: Irrational fear 807: being spoken to by a comedian during their performance. I would die a thousand proverbial deaths and a single real one.
@JediGigi: Him: I'm leaving you. Me: [can't hear him because I'm trying to breakdance in my bubble wrap suit]
@iAmDelFreaky: They should fill the airbags with confetti to make car accidents more fun. *crashes vehicle* "OMG, my legs! Hey, a party!" *dies smiling*