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@fillthevacuum: *reads your mind*
*decides to wait for the movie*
@DownFrontArtist: My GF is such a bad cook. The flies got together to fix the Screen Door.
@markydoodoo: I have the dance moves of a dog with mittens on its paws.
@AlexvanBeek: A spider so big you politely ask it to leave the premises & then sheepishly accept its refusal with all the dignity of a French surrender.
@PeachyPixel8: I JUST DRUNK 37 MONSTER ENERGYS AND NOW I CAN SMELL ABSTRACT LEGISLATIVE EUPHEMISMS
@UNTRESOR: [meeting GF's mom]
Wow! This must be your sister! Your baby sister! *shakes keys in front of her face* I'm overselling this, aren't I?